Horoscopes for 2020
by Madam Asteria
2020 is going to come in fast, and it is going to come in swinging. January 3 has Mars moving into Sagittarius until February 16. This adventurous sign motivates us to try new things and expand our horizons, in addition to being more optimistic about your ability to get back up, regardless of the outcome. This may prove to be helpful with the Lunar Eclipse in Cancer on January 10th with the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn on January 12, indicating a major emotional wakeup call regarding your own needs and desires. For some, this may be a fulfilling realization, where you realize you are self-sustaining and for others, you may become scared and feel as if you’ve lost something or someone you are too reliant on as an emotional safety net.
You will already the subject of this breakdown, so if it occurs, it was most likely a long time coming. Pluto is destructive, and he may be coming to tear down support you rely too heavily on. It may be time to let go, and build something for yourself to support you better.
Next to Western Astrology, Chinese Astrology is the next biggest Astrological system. Rather than the zodiac, it is based on a twelve animal cycle, and is assigned by year as opposed to date of birth. In addition, they follow the Lunar Calendar (similarly to the Thai and Hindu people), and as such their new year doesn’t begin until January 25. 2020 is the Year of the (White Metal) Rat. The Rat is the first animal in the twelve animal cycle and represents new beginnings. This year, we should expect overall; new possibilities in business, new promotions, healthy relationships.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Climb the fence and get those oranges. Who do they think they are, hoarding all that fruit anyways?
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Obliviousness is a gift. Can’t sweat the small stuff if you don’t notice it.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Congratulations, you have a sword! She wants it back at the end of the day.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Your bones rattle. That’s okay, they just want another friend. Maybe try a salad?
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Stand in the sun, see if you explode. Stars said so.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
A mohawk is only as powerful as it bearer.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
You’re in luck! There’s a small frog in your future.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
Is it not enough to stride around an empty house, screeching? Get it together.
SAGITARIUS (November 22-December 21)
Don’t condone violence. Challenge it to combat by math.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)
Sometimes you just gotta throw things. May the stars recommend a bottle of diet soda?
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
There will be a goose nearby soon. Pet it. Nothing bad will happen if you don’t, the stars are just highlighting an opportunity here.
PISCES (February 19 -March 20) A large stick may come in handy soon.